Hello, I'm not good with words (especially in english because i'm portuguese) but I'll try my best for you to understand me.

I just "met" Heath 3 months ago, in January this year. When I first saw Brokeback. After years of reluctance in watch a movie that I thought have a theme that doesn't interest me, I finally give

up and watched. And I believe I have my life changed since...
I realise then that i have already knew Heath from 10 things, but back than, that film did not impress me much...
But with Brokeback was different. I guess, i never saw anyone act like that... basically with eye expression... it really affect me. Since than i saw BM 5 times (I almost know the dialogs by

heart ;-) ) I saw all 13 episodes of Roar, the ones you have here of Sweat, Blackrock, Two hands, 10 things, knigh's tale, the patriot, the order, four feathers, Candy, Casanova, batman, Dr.

Parnassus, ... till now I miss monster's ball and ned kelly (I can't find it anywhere) Brothers Grimm and I'm not there (this two only for lack of time)
I read and watched tens of interviews on the internet in the last 3 months.
After my first BM watch, I went to see the interviews on the DVD and I couldn't believe it was the same person, Heath was so different from the character. That intrigues me, after all he was with

almost no make-up. So, I went to the internet for more about the two main actors, when I realise Heath was the same actor that was at all news, 3 years ago, about is death. I was devastated. It

could not be... I remember that very well (well, not soo well, after all I did not know who the person was... ) But I remember the buzz around, the drogs, all the bad things... I just couldn't

believe. That was when my obsession start. I had to find out if it was true or not. And with my "investigation", i find out an extraordinary human being. And realise how the world is more empty

without him.
For me, the stranger thing about all this is that I never, in my 35 five years of living, lose more than 5 minutes with an actor or actress or any kind of artist. I guess my ariane way of living

never allow me to go deep in anyone's life, but with Heath i can't help my self. I'm completly obsessed. :-) I do believe that all of this is because he is dead, if he wasn't, probably I didn't

go so deep on his life... I don't know... (but my husband hopes that, ... ;-))Another curious thing is that he had also an obsession for a dead artist - Nick Drake. We had something in common,

beyond our sign :-) something a little strange, I would say, but something :-) well if i think carefully I'll find some more, ..he loved to dance and so do I...
I have consciousness that he was probably not a perfect person, after all no one is, but everytime I think of him, it makes me want to be a better person: better friend, better professional,

better mum, even live life with more joy, after all life is so fleeting...
Heath makes me good. I'm glad that God allowed him to came into this world and let us "knew" him. Of course I'm sad because his time among us was so short, but at the same time I am thankful

that he had a profession that allowed us to meet him.

In a day like today, that should be of joy, I can only imagine what his beloved ones are feeling... The only thing I can say is there is many people in the world that shares your sorrow, and as a

Catholic, I do want to believe that this time is a passage and one day we all be in a better place with Heath, and see the amazing movies he will make :-) Dreaming is the only thing no one can

take from us.

Happy birthday Heath wherever you are. 7

Carla Faria


"Your men love you. If I would not know anything else about you, that would be enough." - Prince Edward, A Knight's Tale

Hello dear Carla..
You´re not bad with words at all
Im really glad you discovered him. I totally agree that we´re truly lucky that Heath had that job, which allows people to know about him, even long after he´s not here anymore..
I have lived all those feelings you have, couple of years ago.
I also started to really see Heath in the BBM. I was blown away by his perfomance there and I wanted more.. And then, not long after, he was gone.. It was heartbreaking..
He really affected so many people with his life and death.. Like you said, he somehow makes people wanting to be better person.
After his passing I felt so much goodness, despite all the sorrow..
To me, Heath was and is inspiring.
Of course these intense feeling have faded with time, but i will always appreciate how he affected my life.
He has a certain place in my heart.

Happy Birthday Heath, where ever You are..

Thank you for reply rosmariin. You are very kind.

Carla

Excellent post, Carla. (The English was great by the way)

I'm truly touched by what you had to say about Heath. It warms my heart that even though he's gone, he still has the ability to have such a strong affect on people.

(I can't image how your heart must have broken when you realized your obsession had passed three years ago. You're very fortunate you weren't a fan when it happened. His passing was almost impossible to accept...)

Happy Birthday, Heath. I love you so much.

[size=3][font=Arial Black]Happy Birthday Heath!!!! Wherever you are!
You'll be always in my heart.
R.I.P.
Cristina

Carla - I am so glad you were able to 'meet' Heath and feel the love and admiration for him the rest of us have. He was a very unique individual whose life was a positive influence on those around him. We all miss him terribly.

Happy Birthday, Heath - Love you always.

Beautiful post Carla. We all have those same feelings that you put into words so well.
BBM changed my entire perspective on a lot of things for the good. A deeper human bond for one. I don't think any other movie has affected me as much as this. It pulled my heart out. Heath was brilliant in this movie. In fact I just watched it Saturday night again, for about the 20 time. I know the lines, and I cry still as I cried the first time I saw it.
Beautiful Heath will always be with us. On this what would have been his 32nd birthday I only think of the most wonderful things. I hope our energies catch up with him when it is our time. Sending love Heath.

Thank you very much all for your words it really touch me.

Yes, Heath is still able to affect people in a very strong and deep way. And I truly believe he will always will. Personally, he affect me in a way I never thought it would be possible. I used to "joke" with people who become involved the lives of celebrities. I could never identify myself with that. I never used to criticize it in a very bad way, but i thought they were weak or lonely... That was/is very weird for me. But now i'm the other side... that's just another thing i'm learning with Heath: humility, and even, judge less. However I'm in a very worst position, I'm admiring someone that's no longer among us. How bad and twisted that can be?!

My heart IS very devastated, and yes, I think in a way, I was fortunate not to live these sad moments If it's so hard now, i can't imagine what you all have been thru. But, in another way i just feel like slam myself for wasted so many years of "happyness" How he escaped me?!!? how stupid i'm??! This is even harder when i read posts like this. How amazing this man was?!

Today, my most recurrent thought was: How can we feel the lack of someone who never met?
I don't know the answer but I know the person that makes me have that feeling.

Good night to you all
Hugs and kisses from Portugal
Carla

Dito. I miss you terribly Heath and it's not getting better. God bless your soul in heaven.

@Carla_Faria: i loved your words and i think we all feel the same way about Heath.

Happy birthday Heath. How I miss you.

Thank you for sharing your words Carla, so many of us can identify with you and what you are saying and Heath Heathens is such a great place to come to be understood by other like minded people.

I particularly identify with the way you say you have more understanding for people now. I have had some people say some quite horrible things to me when I talk about my sadness over losing Heath and of course some will never understand and continue to look down on me for this. But I do not let it bother me. I know how I feel and how I genuinely cared for/ felt connected to Heath, as strange as it may sound to some. It is great we can all share this together here without judgement. And it is even greater that Heath is still promoting understanding and sensitivity amongst us.


Take care all. xx

Oh wow, what a lovely post Carla! Loved reading it.

Happy birthday dear Heath! I'm lousy expressing my emotions in English when it's not native language, but I'll keep this simple. We all are still here and will always be. Miss you.

I loved reading the beautiful words you all have written. For those of you who are not native English speakers, you all presented yourselves perfectly. What's in the heart just transcends all language barriers. What a testament that we are all still here, celebrating his life and grieving his loss. Truly he was remarkable.

Once more thank you all for reply. It means a lot to me.
Naomi, a love to read you saying that you "genuinely cared for/ felt connected to Heath, as strange as it may sound to some" because it is strange but I do feel the same is not a crush on a physically beautiful man, even if he were. It's really a soul connection, something beyond explanation. At least is what I feel... I feel like he had a transparent, clear and shinning soul, a genuinely good person. And I don't care if that is not true. I what to believe that, and I will! And no one will convince me otherwise.

Love this quote:
"When anything is blocking my head or there’s worry in my life, I just—whoosh—go sit on Mars or something and look back here at Earth" Heath Ledger, 2000
Is so Heath - a big kid (in 2000 he was a kid )... so sweet, but wise, to see things from a distant perspective is always the best solution and the best way to find answers. That's why I like him so much...

Good night everyone
Hugs and kisses from Portugal
Carla

Hi Carla and everyone,

I love your posts. Carla, it touches me deeply to hear your words describing the effect Heath has had on you, years after his passing. You are right, enduring that time was horrible to say the least. I don't know what I would have done without my online fellow Heathens to cry with because I sure couldn't cry to anyone in my physical vicinity. As it was said, you learn to judge less. And I learned that love isn't as limited as I once thought; there's a capacity beyond that which is standard and accepted.

Heath was and is my Muse and that's a hard concept to explain; but I guess we don't have to. It just is. And like with you, a person never knows when or from where the muse will arrive. One of the universes' great mysteries I guess.

Happy birthday lovely Heath, I miss and love you ever so much to this day. Thanks for putting me on the road and pointing me in the right direction.

Very beautiful Carla, and thank-you